'HALO'

Met my brother and I'm supposed to be happy but just can't help feeling down.. Two more days, time pass just that fast!! Sigh.

WHO WILL BE THE 'YOU' & ME TOGETHER?

Very happy to see Marcus again at Roomful. While I'm having my toilet break, I knew an unread message is sent by him. I was like "zzz..." but when I saw him smiling away by himself, somehow it made me smile too. Okay, I don't know what my heart wants now. All I know I'm trying my best not to place Z* in my heart anymore. I gotta sleep now, waking up early to meet Marcus and get ready for tonight's work.

Want to pack your bags
Something small
Take what you need
And we'll disappear
Without a trace
We'll be gone gone
Moon and the stars
Will follow the car
Then when we get
To the ocean
Gonna take a boat
To the end of the world
All the way
To the end of the world
Oh and when the kids
Are old enough we're
Gonna teach them to fly

You and me together
We can do anything baby
You and me together
Yes yes
The two of us together
We can do anything baby
You and me together yes yes

You and I we're not tied
To the ground
Not falling but rising
Like rolling around
Eyes closed above the
Rooftops eyes closed
We're gonna
Spin through
The stars

Our arms wide as the
Sky we're gonna ride
The blue all the way
To the end of the world
All the way to the
End of the world
Oh and when the kids
Are old enough we're
Gonna teach them to fly

You and me together
We can do anything
Baby you and me
Together yes yes
The two of us together
We can do anything baby
You and me together
Yes yes

We can always look back
At what we did
Always the memory of
You and me baby
But right now it's you
And me forever girl
You know we can do
Better than anything that
We did you know that you
And me we can do anything

You and me together
We can do anything baby
You and me together
Yes yes
The two of us together....

• ROUGHLY ONE WEEK •

So far so good, working happily and meeting people. Boss still in Thailand, "Sa-wa-dee-ka~" Lol. He's coming back soon with his wife and son, can't wait to see my boss back in Roomful. Counting down to Saturday's Function at Roomful. Another new experience. Hundreds of people and it's all divers. Huge size and me the smallest size of all. Okay, duhh.

Just recall it's 26th now. E is sailing off. Sent him a message and glad that he made me smile again, like a silly kid. ((: Okay, I don't know what's up now but I know he's meeting me again when he's back to Singapore.

Wednesday after work, went to supper with Sunny at Bedok and I met my brother! Just nice we reach the same location at the same timing. I guess it's all fate. It's a fate for us to see each other again as I'm hung down by work. Now I believe there's fate. Thanks my little precious brother!

Recently can't sleep early and sleep well. Guess I need to go for a massage soon! I don't know what's wrong but it's a very terrible feeling. Almost everyday I wake up late for work. Terrible me!

Shall blog again and before I off to sleep, I'm happy to see Marcus dropped by Roomful, cheers!!
Nights!

1 WEEK OFF DURING NEW YEAR AND I'M DRINKING HAPPILY EVERYDAY! ^^

Okay, I know it's a very late entry. Pass one week entry. I had a hard time uploading pictures as I'm tapping wireless here. Anyway..

Back to CNY, CHU 2 updates.

Meet up with Baby XT & Jenny to Boat Quay. It's been a very long time since we three meet up and drink together. Raining Bar, two bottles of Martell, woots!! ^^ After that went to Dragonfly, another Martell.

zzz.. zi lian.

okay, ending off with my classic photo of me. thanks baby!
zzzz...

CNY, CHU 4 -

Powerhouse with Baby XT and Angela. Jenny last min couldn't come.

Friday -

Was out with my precious brother to T1 arcade and Playstation at Bedok while waiting for Angela to knock off. She brought me down to Sabai Sabai. Okay, kinda weird but at the end, I enjoy somehow. ((: Supposed to join Jenny to Double O but.. end up me back out. And stupid Jenny can't stop calling me and calling me darling. Wth. -_-"

Saturday -

Went back Bedok for family dinner and head down to Powerhouse as Grace meeting me there. Surprise, I was very sober. Martell, Hennessy, Jug, Tiger mixed with Martell by Junyuan. He can become bartender at Powerhouse already. Chey!

E was there too but I didn't talk to him at all, just felt like there's nothing to talk between us. He came down just to see me while he's having a high fever and I didn't really bother much about him. He disappeared the whole night after he gave me a drink. Anyway, heard from Grace that he's just finding a SMS mate and blah blah blah. I felt so bullshit with all his messages and all his actions. Sigh.

Still, single is the best for me. Nothing to bother and upset about. Free, easy, simple and happy!

Sunday -

Out with Grace and Suer to Town. Went over to Suntec find TH and played arcade. Fun, fun. End up, all of us was at Telok Blangha Crescent drinking Heineken and I'm home now trying to sleep for tomorrow work. Too slacken to work liao. Booos!! ><

MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY

Where should I start this entry? .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... ....

Quiet. Paranoid. Worried. Upset. Scare. Big responsibility. Huge figures. Lots of thinking. Right or wrong decision? Words to say to Judge, what to say? What will the final outcome be like? Able to face it strongly? Able not to cry in front of him and her? But all I know I'm able to wait!!

Whole day with my precious brother and his friend, Ash. East Coast for Bowling, Pool and bear catching. And he gave me one Elmo for me to keep! ^^ Loves it lots because it's like one and only one?


MR. E texted me, I didn't really reply. He called, I rejected his calls. I really don't know why I kinda dislike him but yet, sometime he is on my mind. What's happening? @.@

Then I thought about Z* when the clock strikes 0330 PM. I won't turn up because I've already given you two my blessings. And how badly I miss you, I won't let you to know. I know things between you two ain't going smoothly for you, but I hope every circumstances will bring both of you to each level and keep going strong. Hurt? Yes, I do. But as long you're smiling, I'll smile too.

Three more days to work and twelve more days to fear. Sigh!!~
I cry, inside my heart. My brother cry, inside his heart too.

UPDATES!

First day of New Year Eve 2010 -

Meet up with Jenny, WC and GuoQing. Movie at Cine, super at Chong Pang malay stall and home sweet home.



Sunday -

Jenny supposed to meet me, end up she back me out. I'll remember babe! ^^ Whole day was with my brother and we played arcade like no one business. Just wanna spent time with my be-love, precious brother. E text-ed me to join him at Boat Quay, Shin Bar. Jenny came down to look for me after her movie with Sam. 2 bottles of Chivas for the night!



It's heavy down pour right now. Guess it's god hinting me what will the outcome be. But then again, I'm still not prepare yet and dare not to face it later at 0230pm. I'm trying to be strong and not to cry again.. For the sake of my be-love precious brother, my mom, baby XT, Jenny and myself.

More to update, nights!

WHAT NOW? GIVE UP, SECOND THOUGHTS OR ANOTHER CHANCE??

I'm like so speechless now!!!! WTFuck!!!

Yes, it's my fault that I didn't managed to go Zouk. There's always many chances to meet again, it's not the end of the world yet (though we're always hung down by work). I shouldn't have answer your call, really shouldn't. I made you worried and so do you? Okay, you're more worst than me. You're so paranoid and yet drunk. I didn't want to throw temper at you because I know you're very emotional and drunk.

All the way to Clementi just for prata, (which I'm already feeling so uncomfortable) just because I know you need to eat. Now, I'm sorry for rejecting you to send me home because I really don't feel like talking to you and you to wander around at my house for nothing. What you and I need now is to sleep and rest!

In my life, you're the very first guy that throws temper at me.

MR E, I hope you're much more better when you're awake!





-- -- --
last word before I go to bed - sigh.

我知道我的愛一直都會存在. 我痛說不出來.

I miss you, he miss me. I love you, he love me.

你看着我来, 我看着你走. 没有你之後, 我才明白的更多.

Like what Jenny told me, "don't let the past affect the present." I really wish I could do it but I.. I see your face, I hear your words, I still can feel you're near to me, I know it's all illusion but I just can't help it. I just can't get out of your page. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you! I'm walking back and staying on to last year valentine's day! I hope you could hear me...

你最近还好吗?

We're so near to each other but yet so far away.. *emo*



真正相愛的兩個人是不會變成朋友的，因為他們愛的太深!
愛到十年之後 就連朋友都已經不是，只是兩個的陌生人!

Another Thursday night, good nights.

ROB *loves*

Jenny and I doodle on the cheesecake box randomly. And thanks Jane for the cheesecake! :D

H.A.T.E. U | A Matter Fact I think I'm Moving Away~

I had not been feeling too good, somehow vomited out blood. Shiite feeling, bad bad. Anyway, I bought a cheap phone just for call and to sms. It's already good enough for me to contact my friends. (: And I'm broke now. Lucky Jenny told me Friday is our pay day. I'm so glad! Must clear my debts and I'll be free!!

Haven't heard from him for a day and I'm feeling empty somehow. Miss. No fun now, Jenny knows his name already. Chey!!

I was reading through my old blog and realize I've change a lot from the past me and Jenny told me that is the time we just become friend. We miss our past and boo to A&Z! "Thanks for wasting our time, our fate and our love. Thank you very muchhie!" - by Jenny.

Okay, this song, H.A.T.E. U by Mariah Carey keep lingers in my mind and love the lyrics.

Once upon a time
We swore not to say goodbye
Something got a hold of us
And we changed
And you sat alone in pride
And I sat at home and cried
Held off every tear just stand up this way

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a loss cuz
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
oooh

This was a love that no one I know could explain
And I wish I could press reset and feel that feeling again
I sit and press rewind
And watch us every night
Want to pause it but I cant make it stay

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a loss cuz
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
oooh

No need to call my phone
Because I changed my number today
A matter fact I think I'm moving away (away)
Sorry the frustrations got me feeling a way
And I just keep having one lasting mistake
And I just want to hold you, touch you, feel you
Near you, I miss you baby baby (baby baby)
I am tired of trying to fake through
But there is nothing I can do
Boy I can't wait to hate you

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break these emotional changes
Seems like such a loss cuz I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I cant wait to hate you baby
I cant wait to hate you baby
--

GONE

Okay, I'm un-contactable for time begin. I lost my phone somewhere and I can't remember. And my cigarette too!! I'm like so sad now. Maybe it's fate to lose my phone. )):

Th brought me in and when in only, all the unfamiliar faces says hello to me. I pretend to know them after they saying who and whose friend. Maybe my memory is not so good then before now. All the unfamiliar faces forced me to drink and I don't even know what drink they gave me. (-__-||) Th's friends bought me a lot of drink and the last drink was Long Island Tea and it was super strong! @#$%^&*

Alright, I gotta shower and make a few calls. And check out some cheap phone. Sigh. Broke again!!

DOWN

without friends like having no mind and soul. without a friend, life feels too short and without a friend, you feel empty inside.

Hell busy Friday night and baby Tian dropped by Roomful to say hello to Jenny and I. ((: He's so sick, I wish I could look for him! Somehow I miss him. Good nights!

Living In The Shadow Of Your Heart; Pain, All Cos Of You.. Forgiveness!

It rains when the world silently suffers with an aching heart; I feel an emotion of deeply centered awe of mystery and gloom.

I wish I'm clueless about your blog. As days goes by and met happy-go-lucky guy, I hope I'm feeling a lot better than before. Although he bring back my smile but actually, I'm in pain deep inside!! Pain is just a feeling, it's when you're a little kid and scrap your knee or when you're falling off from a bike for the first time. Pain is when you and your friend gets in a fight or when your parents spanks you when you get into troubles. But the Biggest pain of them all is when you lose someone you love the most!!

Silent thoughts of you..
but I hate thinking of you.
Everything becomes hard to understand,
it makes me feel so lost,
like sinking into quicksand.

I know if my heart was open to all,
I would soon fade away.
Ashamed of my cake-mix feelings,
that I feel deep each day.

Yet I feel so keenly your presence,
and at the back of my mind,
I try to please you.
Though I know I'm out batting half blind.

Tears roll down my chin,
because I want this to be real.
Yet I'm scared they're just a whisper.
Oh, how I wish I couldn't feel!

I'm so afraid to loose my heart,
to have it broken just like before.
A wretched bitter pain,
for ever thinking there was more.

And how embarrassed I would be,
if you found out the truth,
that you hardly know me,
but I pretend to know you.
So break these dreams now,
shatter them on the floor,
and silence them forever.

Because if you tell me they are all false,
perhaps they will go away.
And I'll be able to close my eyes peacefully once again..

I've been learning to live without you now. But I miss you sometimes. I don't hate you, I don't blame you. Because I think it's about forgiveness. Forgiveness!

MR

He came to Roomful to surprise me and bought lots of food for me to eat. And it's all my favorite! :D Thanks so much and it's the thoughts that counts.

I ask Sunny to do me a favor by asking his name. Now, I finally know what's his name and what he do! I'm so happy! Sunny laughed at me for begin such a silly girl. Falling in love with someone but I've no idea what's his name.

Throughout the night, I keep smiling to every customers and myself. I just can't help it but to feel so happy and smiling away like a silly kid.

Received a rose from him outside Roomful which I keep insist him not to buy from the stupid india man. Keep forcing him to buy. But anyway, it's my first time in life, receive a rose from guy. Okay, I felt so shy and lost at that moment. I just wanna run away and hide my face. -_-||

I'm trying to open my heart to him and let natural take it course. It's gonna be sweet dreams tonight. (^__^)loves.

TWOLESS LONELY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD- AIR SUPPLY

Just simply love this song. Nice nice. (:

WEEKENDS

Saturday was a surprise night for me. My belove brother came down to my work place to look for me!! I miss him so much ever since he shifted back to Bedok. After work we had a fast and quick party. Because Jenny and I keep bottoms up our buckets of Heineken! In fact I skip my favorite drink, Guinness Draught and make it a Heineken night! Baby Xintian was already at Powerhouse. Always happy seeing her but she was kinda crazy that particular night. Lol. Went over Dragonfly with Jenny and I order another bucket. Which we only left with an hour to party. And that's how I was begin spotted by the happy-go-lucky guy. (:

Sunday out again with Jenny, my brother and his friend. Chinatown for massage, Cathay for movie, PS just for Subway and Cine for pool.



I can't stop myself from looking through your messages again and again.. Somehow I feel like seeing you again.