It's been awhile and I'm here again. Grandma passed away pass few weeks. Bits of memories flash back in my mind and was trying to hold back my tears on the last day when all of us sending her off.
Actually, I would says she's a nice grandma although she would always scold my mom and nag at my bro and me. Somehow I felt regret because we don't really visit her on Chinese New Year which is only once is a year. Every time we shifted house, she would always try her best to find us. Or I would say.. we don't really keep in contact with each other. Till the day she left, then I realize how important is it to keep in contact with the loves one. Family or friends.
After few days, Z's grandma passed away. I wanted to go down visit grandma but my mom overheard my conversation and disallowed me to go. I offer my sincere condolences to your grandma. May them rest in peace.
Showing posts with label Z*. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Z*. Show all posts
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY!
"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Zikko,
Happy birthday to you!!.."
Happy birthday to Zikko,
Happy birthday to you!!.."
Do you remember our song?..
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
HOLLOW YEARS
Past few days received a call from here when I was at work. First thing in my mind is like.. 'Fuck, what happen to her again?!' I answered her call and I just heard her crying. My heart sank!
Lots of thoughts going through my mind..
If only.. my heart is big and open enough,
If only.. I'm hardworking and rich enough,
If only.. I'm good enough, (or am I too good for you)?
If only.. I wait longer for you,
If only.. I've the courage to face you personally..
HA! What a joke!! In my life and in this world, I don't believe in 'Forever' and 'If only'. I don't care what others gonna say and think about me, I'll always follow the nature and I'll find my answer.
I'm silly, yes I admit!
Stupid and dumb, yes I admit too!
Too kind and softhearted, yes, that's me!
I can never stop giving her my helping hands just because I'm the only one that could understand her and know what she needs. I could understand what she's going through, acting strong whereby she's not strong at all and needs someone standing strong beside her, (just because we went through real hardship together!) Yeah, I know babylove will pass by my space and I'm not afraid of her reading this, because I don't hide and I don't need to.
Baby is coming out to this world soon, I really don't know why I'm so eager to see the baby and in fact, I would like to love & dotes on the baby. But I know, it's not mine. But who cares!~ I don't know if I'll attend your wedding ceremony as I can't give you any promise and I'm afraid I'll take another pathway. I'm in a mess, very messy status! *TMD!
Another side, I've to be careful with my babylove's feelings and emotional. I know partly is my fault but I'm sorry for giving you a cold shoulder.
Sigh. Somehow or rather, I might give up everything and back to my mom's and bro's side. I miss my house, my family.. My dream and wish list is to built a house. Well.. I could do anything for anyone I love!
Good nights!
Lots of thoughts going through my mind..
If only.. my heart is big and open enough,
If only.. I'm hardworking and rich enough,
If only.. I'm good enough, (or am I too good for you)?
If only.. I wait longer for you,
If only.. I've the courage to face you personally..
HA! What a joke!! In my life and in this world, I don't believe in 'Forever' and 'If only'. I don't care what others gonna say and think about me, I'll always follow the nature and I'll find my answer.
I'm silly, yes I admit!
Stupid and dumb, yes I admit too!
Too kind and softhearted, yes, that's me!
I can never stop giving her my helping hands just because I'm the only one that could understand her and know what she needs. I could understand what she's going through, acting strong whereby she's not strong at all and needs someone standing strong beside her, (just because we went through real hardship together!) Yeah, I know babylove will pass by my space and I'm not afraid of her reading this, because I don't hide and I don't need to.
Baby is coming out to this world soon, I really don't know why I'm so eager to see the baby and in fact, I would like to love & dotes on the baby. But I know, it's not mine. But who cares!~ I don't know if I'll attend your wedding ceremony as I can't give you any promise and I'm afraid I'll take another pathway. I'm in a mess, very messy status! *TMD!
Another side, I've to be careful with my babylove's feelings and emotional. I know partly is my fault but I'm sorry for giving you a cold shoulder.
Sigh. Somehow or rather, I might give up everything and back to my mom's and bro's side. I miss my house, my family.. My dream and wish list is to built a house. Well.. I could do anything for anyone I love!
Good nights!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
微笑祝福你!
You're strong, just like me. But right now, I'm not strong after I read your news. I should be happy for you, you made your wishes came true. But I just can't hide my true feelings inside me. Yes, I admit that I'm sad, my heart is sour and mixture of deep feelings and my mind is blank. Ha! What the hell am I writing here. 20th of June 2010, my heart will be with you for the very last time. Take good care of yourself, stay strong always & CONGRATULATIONS to YOU!!
难过过了天晴朗了,
我就走.
我听见我回头说:
你们要快乐!
My blessings to you;
微笑祝福你!!
我就走.
我听见我回头说:
你们要快乐!
My blessings to you;
微笑祝福你!!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
FIRSTLY, SECONDLY AND LASTLY.
Firstly, my precious brother is out! Hopefully he'll change for a better person. Now keep looking rooms and house for my brother and mom to stay. Sigh. Stress up.
Secondly, I don't wish to mention names here. I don't own you anything. And whatever how you want to think about me. It's no longer important to me.
Thirdly, Sunday is just tomorrow! Can't wait. Going zoo with babylove. ((:
Now waiting for baby to done makeup!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY
Where should I start this entry? .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... .... ...... ..... ..... ....
Quiet. Paranoid. Worried. Upset. Scare. Big responsibility. Huge figures. Lots of thinking. Right or wrong decision? Words to say to Judge, what to say? What will the final outcome be like? Able to face it strongly? Able not to cry in front of him and her? But all I know I'm able to wait!!
Whole day with my precious brother and his friend, Ash. East Coast for Bowling, Pool and bear catching. And he gave me one Elmo for me to keep! ^^ Loves it lots because it's like one and only one?
MR. E texted me, I didn't really reply. He called, I rejected his calls. I really don't know why I kinda dislike him but yet, sometime he is on my mind. What's happening? @.@
Then I thought about Z* when the clock strikes 0330 PM. I won't turn up because I've already given you two my blessings. And how badly I miss you, I won't let you to know. I know things between you two ain't going smoothly for you, but I hope every circumstances will bring both of you to each level and keep going strong. Hurt? Yes, I do. But as long you're smiling, I'll smile too.
Three more days to work and twelve more days to fear. Sigh!!~
I cry, inside my heart. My brother cry, inside his heart too.
Quiet. Paranoid. Worried. Upset. Scare. Big responsibility. Huge figures. Lots of thinking. Right or wrong decision? Words to say to Judge, what to say? What will the final outcome be like? Able to face it strongly? Able not to cry in front of him and her? But all I know I'm able to wait!!
Whole day with my precious brother and his friend, Ash. East Coast for Bowling, Pool and bear catching. And he gave me one Elmo for me to keep! ^^ Loves it lots because it's like one and only one?
MR. E texted me, I didn't really reply. He called, I rejected his calls. I really don't know why I kinda dislike him but yet, sometime he is on my mind. What's happening? @.@
Then I thought about Z* when the clock strikes 0330 PM. I won't turn up because I've already given you two my blessings. And how badly I miss you, I won't let you to know. I know things between you two ain't going smoothly for you, but I hope every circumstances will bring both of you to each level and keep going strong. Hurt? Yes, I do. But as long you're smiling, I'll smile too.
Three more days to work and twelve more days to fear. Sigh!!~
I cry, inside my heart. My brother cry, inside his heart too.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
我知道我的愛一直都會存在. 我痛說不出來.
I miss you, he miss me. I love you, he love me.
你看着我来, 我看着你走. 没有你之後, 我才明白的更多.
Like what Jenny told me, "don't let the past affect the present." I really wish I could do it but I.. I see your face, I hear your words, I still can feel you're near to me, I know it's all illusion but I just can't help it. I just can't get out of your page. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you! I'm walking back and staying on to last year valentine's day! I hope you could hear me...
你看着我来, 我看着你走. 没有你之後, 我才明白的更多.
Like what Jenny told me, "don't let the past affect the present." I really wish I could do it but I.. I see your face, I hear your words, I still can feel you're near to me, I know it's all illusion but I just can't help it. I just can't get out of your page. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you! I'm walking back and staying on to last year valentine's day! I hope you could hear me...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
你最近还好吗?
We're so near to each other but yet so far away.. *emo*
真正相愛的兩個人是不會變成朋友的，因為他們愛的太深!
愛到十年之後 就連朋友都已經不是，只是兩個的陌生人!
Another Thursday night, good nights.
真正相愛的兩個人是不會變成朋友的，因為他們愛的太深!
愛到十年之後 就連朋友都已經不是，只是兩個的陌生人!
Another Thursday night, good nights.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My Blessings..
The whole night I felt so uneasy inside my heart. And everything is all burned, game over. The worst part is that I'm unaware how and what am I feeling now. All I can do is to give you my blessings!
"All I want is for the other person to be happy. I'm grieving and heartbroken, but I understands. No matter what, I will continue to be there for you. There is no fear or taking it back. The love is still there for you even though you decided to go another direction. Living in harmony with the principles of love."
"All I want is for the other person to be happy. I'm grieving and heartbroken, but I understands. No matter what, I will continue to be there for you. There is no fear or taking it back. The love is still there for you even though you decided to go another direction. Living in harmony with the principles of love."
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
NOTHING IS FOREVER
Today Jenny surprise me with a packet of food while working. Thanks friend!! XD
I'm like very tired but still can't sleep. Looking out from the window, smoking and thinking about some issue. I don't know what's on my mind again. Sigh. Emotions seems like falling back to me again. To delete, it takes a lot of my courage to do so. When then I'll have the courage to do so?.. Well, my blessings to you..
Gotta sleep soon, good night!
I'm like very tired but still can't sleep. Looking out from the window, smoking and thinking about some issue. I don't know what's on my mind again. Sigh. Emotions seems like falling back to me again. To delete, it takes a lot of my courage to do so. When then I'll have the courage to do so?.. Well, my blessings to you..
Gotta sleep soon, good night!
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