沒那麼簡單..

I don't know how should I just express it out or either any words to describe it. I just couldn't find a way out for myself. Just one day I met up with Z, everything has changed. Just when the day I started to work at KTV, everything has changed too. My character, my thinking, my feeling, my point of view has changed.

This few days, I'm trying to find back our love but it just didn't work at all. Every time I think of it, I felt so helpless, lost and guilty. I mind about your feelings (not just your feelings). I mind about fairness. I mind a lot of things!!

We seems close it's because today Z had changed to a thoughtful person. Or maybe I would just admit that simple thing Z did, just touch my heart.. Until today, deep inside my heart and my mind is still all about Z. And at this situation now, I'm trying not to ponder anything about my feelings for who and whoever so. Everyday I'm thinking about earning more money and looking for another job.

I hope one day, my feelings for whoever will leave soon.
May it be you or either Z..

完全唱出了我的心聲! 相爱完全没那么容易..

一场游戏 一场梦

不要谈什么分离
我不会因为这样而哭泣
那只是昨夜的一场梦而已

不要说愿不愿意
我不会因为这样而在意
那只是昨夜的一场游戏

那只是一场游戏一场梦
虽然你影子还出现我眼里
在我的歌声中早已没有你

那只是一场游戏一场梦
不要把残缺的爱留在这里
在两个人的世界里不该有你

Hoh~ 为什么道别离　
又说什么在一起
如今虽然没有你　
我还是我自己

说什么此情永不渝
说什么我爱你
如今依然没有你
我还是 我自己

THANK YOU + HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Thanks baby Xintian,
Thanks Angela,
Thanks Jenny
for turning up and the great company on the 29/07/2010

Thanks babylove
for everything you had planned for me.

Nothing special BUT I treasure the company.

My grandma & Her grandma

It's been awhile and I'm here again. Grandma passed away pass few weeks. Bits of memories flash back in my mind and was trying to hold back my tears on the last day when all of us sending her off.

Actually, I would says she's a nice grandma although she would always scold my mom and nag at my bro and me. Somehow I felt regret because we don't really visit her on Chinese New Year which is only once is a year. Every time we shifted house, she would always try her best to find us. Or I would say.. we don't really keep in contact with each other. Till the day she left, then I realize how important is it to keep in contact with the loves one. Family or friends.

After few days, Z's grandma passed away. I wanted to go down visit grandma but my mom overheard my conversation and disallowed me to go. I offer my sincere condolences to your grandma. May them rest in peace.

lilstevie.boss.birthday.celebration.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSS!!

You're the only boss that would always nag at me to go home even if it's on weekend! BUT!! Thanks for all your care & concern, treating me like your own daughter and never fails to give me good advice and your helping hand. Thanks for taking good care of me always, loves!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSS a.k.a lilStevie!! Cheers!! XD

T3

It's been awhile I'm here and lots of pictures is still in the pending list to update my online journal. Well, I'm totally hook on PSP!! After work Sunny bought us to Changi Airport T3 makan and walk around. And she got so hyper out of nowhere and we were like.. -_-|| <- yeah, this expression.

It's just a short update & cheers peeps!!

Lionel Richie - Just For You

Golden days, night was play, pain was all a world away,
we went to school, we learned the rules,
we trusted all they all had to say.
Then life took a turn, we all had to learn,
and we can't go back again.

And my heart is breaking just for you, just for you.
And my arms are open just for you, just for you,
just for you.

God was God, dreams were dreams, life was all cake and ice cream.
Truth was true, and lies were lies, we thought love would never die.
But the world moved on, my illusion's gone,
and I don't know who to blame.

And my heart is breaking just for you, just for you.
And my arms are open just for you, just for you,
And these tears I'm crying are for you, just for you,
just for you.

I'm looking for protection, give me shelter from the storm,
I just hope this light inside me keeps me strong!

And my heart is breaking just for you, just for you.
And my arms are open just for you, just for you,
And these tears I'm crying are for you, just for you,
just for you.

Just for you, oh, my heart is breaking!
And my arms are open,
oh, these tears I'm crying they're just for you.
Oh, yeah!

FAMILY OUTING ON SUNDAY

Jack Place for dinner at Parkway Parade and chill out at East Coast Park!! *Loves

Bro's little Stitch was with us too!!

And here comes our food, delicious!!
My medium rare steak!!
And my mom's favorite lobster!!

After that we head down to East Coast Park chill out and teddy bears catching!!
Lots of money and lots of time spent!!

Mother & her BF!!
Lots & lots of L.O.V.E.S


My mom is super excited & was very hyper playing Jackpots!!

Monday court, damn fuck up!! Waited like 2 hours and thanks to it, we didn't have enough sleep for work at night! Anyway, they postpone to 3 weeks. Gggrr!!~ Lots to update for Saturday's party!! The sun is rising now, ciaos!!

DESIGN

It's been long since I do design again. And I just did a design for Roomful of Blues party!!


Come down & join in the fun!! I don't know how to appreciate blues but I guess it's gonna be nice and fun on that day!! Can't wait to meet the musicians!! Boss is flying off to Thailand at 8am!! I gotta sleep now, ciaos!!

Tomorrow Party with Angela again!! Weeeee~

"WARM WELCOMING"

SATURDAY's FUN!!

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO MINMIN!!

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY!

"Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to Zikko,
Happy birthday to you!!.."

Do you remember our song?..

HOLLOW YEARS

Past few days received a call from here when I was at work. First thing in my mind is like.. 'Fuck, what happen to her again?!' I answered her call and I just heard her crying. My heart sank!

Lots of thoughts going through my mind..
If only.. my heart is big and open enough,
If only.. I'm hardworking and rich enough,
If only.. I'm good enough, (or am I too good for you)?
If only.. I wait longer for you,
If only.. I've the courage to face you personally..
HA! What a joke!! In my life and in this world, I don't believe in 'Forever' and 'If only'. I don't care what others gonna say and think about me, I'll always follow the nature and I'll find my answer.

I'm silly, yes I admit!
Stupid and dumb, yes I admit too!
Too kind and softhearted, yes, that's me!

I can never stop giving her my helping hands just because I'm the only one that could understand her and know what she needs. I could understand what she's going through, acting strong whereby she's not strong at all and needs someone standing strong beside her, (just because we went through real hardship together!) Yeah, I know babylove will pass by my space and I'm not afraid of her reading this, because I don't hide and I don't need to.

Baby is coming out to this world soon, I really don't know why I'm so eager to see the baby and in fact, I would like to love & dotes on the baby. But I know, it's not mine. But who cares!~ I don't know if I'll attend your wedding ceremony as I can't give you any promise and I'm afraid I'll take another pathway. I'm in a mess, very messy status! *TMD!

Another side, I've to be careful with my babylove's feelings and emotional. I know partly is my fault but I'm sorry for giving you a cold shoulder.

Sigh. Somehow or rather, I might give up everything and back to my mom's and bro's side. I miss my house, my family.. My dream and wish list is to built a house. Well.. I could do anything for anyone I love!

Good nights!

HEY HD2

Wednesday end up I was at Powerhouse after my work. Baby XT caught me at smoking area and the final conclusion was I partied with XT and Angela till lights on. Now, Angela also start to drink Guinness Draught together with me!! HAHAS!! ^^ Always fun and loves to party with the two cool peeps!! (:

Later part at Cresent.. Ha, I guess I shall not post it here. Waste of time. Coolshit morning at Cresent! Boooos!!

Guess what?! I'm gonna get HTC HD2! All thanks to David's recommendations! Look at the pictures!

Isn't it beautiful!?! Gosh, I'm drooling now!! Check out the videos from Youtube. Though it's kinda long-winded. Ahhh, blah blah blah blah~
Good nights!!

SUNMONDAY

Sunday was out with baby to IKEA.

All time favorite!!~ Swedish Meatball!

Head home to put our stuffs and last minute changes, we went to East Coast Park instead of Universal Studio. Next Sunday, 16th gonna bring baby to Universal Studio to play whole day! Here comes our second anniversary! (:

I just receive a second anniversary gift (advance, VERY ADVANCE) from baby when I just got home. It's a light pink polo! Thanks babylove! Just had my medicines, off to bed soon!
Cheers! (:

微笑祝福你!

You're strong, just like me. But right now, I'm not strong after I read your news. I should be happy for you, you made your wishes came true. But I just can't hide my true feelings inside me. Yes, I admit that I'm sad, my heart is sour and mixture of deep feelings and my mind is blank. Ha! What the hell am I writing here. 20th of June 2010, my heart will be with you for the very last time. Take good care of yourself, stay strong always & CONGRATULATIONS to YOU!!

难过过了天晴朗了,
我就走.
我听见我回头说:
你们要快乐!
My blessings to you;
微笑祝福你!!

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TWO SAY THOSE THREE WORD, AND THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO, I LOVE YOU.

If you happens to pass by my space, this song is for you. "I love begin around you baby."

BACK TO EARLY MARCH

Hello, back here again. Was lost touch of blogging and reading friend's blog at a period of time. Well, I've no idea where to start and this entry has been saved in a draft for quite sometime..

16th of March was our first anniversary. Thanks baby for the new Puma shoe. ^^


Before work, bought baby to Hereen get the Guess watch and send baby to work. And I quickly went down to get a surprise for baby before I'm late for my work.


18 of March, I bought candles and while baby and meimei was drinking and chatting away, I did this. It's not so nice and I took a very long time to complete it because it's my first time doing it.


25 of March, went down to play sparkles.


Haha!! I'm quite amazed by myself for all the things I've done. Okay, Tons of party photos to upload but I need sleep soon! Nights, be back here again! (:

FIRSTLY, SECONDLY AND LASTLY.

Firstly, my precious brother is out! Hopefully he'll change for a better person. Now keep looking rooms and house for my brother and mom to stay. Sigh. Stress up.

Secondly, I don't wish to mention names here. I don't own you anything. And whatever how you want to think about me. It's no longer important to me.

Thirdly, Sunday is just tomorrow! Can't wait. Going zoo with babylove. ((:

Now waiting for baby to done makeup!

Short Update

It's been a while since I update, yes, I know. Many many pictures to upload. Been busy with work and handling my brother's case. I miss him but I've to stand firm and strong. Sigh. Thanks baby staying by my side everyday. Baby, I love you many many!!

Z*

也许我太过天真, 以为奇迹会发. 我以为我够坚强, 却一天天地失望. 少给我一点希望!

HEYYO

I wanna blog but I'm talking to Marcus and he wants me to sleep before the sun rises. So yeah, good night! Will update again.

MT*1518

Later at 09:30 AM, I've to be brave and aware. I miss my precious brother so much thou!! And thank you Marcus for putting a smile on my face, shoo away my stressfulness and pressure. Shall see you tomorrow!! ^^

My favorite song, Groovy Kind Of Love by Phil Collins.





Could it be YOU?..

I'M HAPPY WITH YOU AROUND~

Sunday night didn't managed to go home as I forgotten to bring out my keys. Okay, how stupid and forgetful. End up I overnight at baby Grace's house. Marcus text-ed one hour before I knock off that he would like to send me home. Okay, how nice and thoughtful of him and I appreciate it! Super at Holland Village and chatted for hours! Tired but I'm happy, HAPPY! :D

Get to know this song from Jenny. It's Alright It's Okay by Ashley Tisdale. Very nice, meaningful and inspirations lyrics to me!!

You told me
There's no need
To talk it out
Cause its too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words
And walked away

No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say

It's Alright, it's OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
It's Alright, it's OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
It's Alright, it's OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrayed a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

It's Alright, it's OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
It's Alright, it's OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
It's Alright, it's OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry

Don't waste your fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's way too late
I'm closing the door

It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
It's Alright, it's OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
It's Alright, it's OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry

It's Alright, it's OK
Alright, OK
Without you
No matter what you say
It's Alright, it's OK
Alright, OK
Without you
I won't be sorry

Guess HE's sleeping soundly now. Good Nights & Good Morning! ((:

'HALO'

Met my brother and I'm supposed to be happy but just can't help feeling down.. Two more days, time pass just that fast!! Sigh.

WHO WILL BE THE 'YOU' & ME TOGETHER?

Very happy to see Marcus again at Roomful. While I'm having my toilet break, I knew an unread message is sent by him. I was like "zzz..." but when I saw him smiling away by himself, somehow it made me smile too. Okay, I don't know what my heart wants now. All I know I'm trying my best not to place Z* in my heart anymore. I gotta sleep now, waking up early to meet Marcus and get ready for tonight's work.

Want to pack your bags
Something small
Take what you need
And we'll disappear
Without a trace
We'll be gone gone
Moon and the stars
Will follow the car
Then when we get
To the ocean
Gonna take a boat
To the end of the world
All the way
To the end of the world
Oh and when the kids
Are old enough we're
Gonna teach them to fly

You and me together
We can do anything baby
You and me together
Yes yes
The two of us together
We can do anything baby
You and me together yes yes

You and I we're not tied
To the ground
Not falling but rising
Like rolling around
Eyes closed above the
Rooftops eyes closed
We're gonna
Spin through
The stars

Our arms wide as the
Sky we're gonna ride
The blue all the way
To the end of the world
All the way to the
End of the world
Oh and when the kids
Are old enough we're
Gonna teach them to fly

You and me together
We can do anything
Baby you and me
Together yes yes
The two of us together
We can do anything baby
You and me together
Yes yes

We can always look back
At what we did
Always the memory of
You and me baby
But right now it's you
And me forever girl
You know we can do
Better than anything that
We did you know that you
And me we can do anything

You and me together
We can do anything baby
You and me together
Yes yes
The two of us together....

• ROUGHLY ONE WEEK •

So far so good, working happily and meeting people. Boss still in Thailand, "Sa-wa-dee-ka~" Lol. He's coming back soon with his wife and son, can't wait to see my boss back in Roomful. Counting down to Saturday's Function at Roomful. Another new experience. Hundreds of people and it's all divers. Huge size and me the smallest size of all. Okay, duhh.

Just recall it's 26th now. E is sailing off. Sent him a message and glad that he made me smile again, like a silly kid. ((: Okay, I don't know what's up now but I know he's meeting me again when he's back to Singapore.

Wednesday after work, went to supper with Sunny at Bedok and I met my brother! Just nice we reach the same location at the same timing. I guess it's all fate. It's a fate for us to see each other again as I'm hung down by work. Now I believe there's fate. Thanks my little precious brother!

Recently can't sleep early and sleep well. Guess I need to go for a massage soon! I don't know what's wrong but it's a very terrible feeling. Almost everyday I wake up late for work. Terrible me!

Shall blog again and before I off to sleep, I'm happy to see Marcus dropped by Roomful, cheers!!
Nights!

1 WEEK OFF DURING NEW YEAR AND I'M DRINKING HAPPILY EVERYDAY! ^^

Okay, I know it's a very late entry. Pass one week entry. I had a hard time uploading pictures as I'm tapping wireless here. Anyway..

Back to CNY, CHU 2 updates.

Meet up with Baby XT & Jenny to Boat Quay. It's been a very long time since we three meet up and drink together. Raining Bar, two bottles of Martell, woots!! ^^ After that went to Dragonfly, another Martell.

zzz.. zi lian.

okay, ending off with my classic photo of me. thanks baby!
zzzz...

CNY, CHU 4 -

Powerhouse with Baby XT and Angela. Jenny last min couldn't come.

Friday -

Was out with my precious brother to T1 arcade and Playstation at Bedok while waiting for Angela to knock off. She brought me down to Sabai Sabai. Okay, kinda weird but at the end, I enjoy somehow. ((: Supposed to join Jenny to Double O but.. end up me back out. And stupid Jenny can't stop calling me and calling me darling. Wth. -_-"

Saturday -

Went back Bedok for family dinner and head down to Powerhouse as Grace meeting me there. Surprise, I was very sober. Martell, Hennessy, Jug, Tiger mixed with Martell by Junyuan. He can become bartender at Powerhouse already. Chey!

E was there too but I didn't talk to him at all, just felt like there's nothing to talk between us. He came down just to see me while he's having a high fever and I didn't really bother much about him. He disappeared the whole night after he gave me a drink. Anyway, heard from Grace that he's just finding a SMS mate and blah blah blah. I felt so bullshit with all his messages and all his actions. Sigh.

Still, single is the best for me. Nothing to bother and upset about. Free, easy, simple and happy!

Sunday -

Out with Grace and Suer to Town. Went over to Suntec find TH and played arcade. Fun, fun. End up, all of us was at Telok Blangha Crescent drinking Heineken and I'm home now trying to sleep for tomorrow work. Too slacken to work liao. Booos!! ><