H.A.T.E. U | A Matter Fact I think I'm Moving Away~

I had not been feeling too good, somehow vomited out blood. Shiite feeling, bad bad. Anyway, I bought a cheap phone just for call and to sms. It's already good enough for me to contact my friends. (: And I'm broke now. Lucky Jenny told me Friday is our pay day. I'm so glad! Must clear my debts and I'll be free!!

Haven't heard from him for a day and I'm feeling empty somehow. Miss. No fun now, Jenny knows his name already. Chey!!

I was reading through my old blog and realize I've change a lot from the past me and Jenny told me that is the time we just become friend. We miss our past and boo to A&Z! "Thanks for wasting our time, our fate and our love. Thank you very muchhie!" - by Jenny.

Okay, this song, H.A.T.E. U by Mariah Carey keep lingers in my mind and love the lyrics.

Once upon a time
We swore not to say goodbye
Something got a hold of us
And we changed
And you sat alone in pride
And I sat at home and cried
Held off every tear just stand up this way

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a loss cuz
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
oooh

This was a love that no one I know could explain
And I wish I could press reset and feel that feeling again
I sit and press rewind
And watch us every night
Want to pause it but I cant make it stay

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a loss cuz
I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
oooh

No need to call my phone
Because I changed my number today
A matter fact I think I'm moving away (away)
Sorry the frustrations got me feeling a way
And I just keep having one lasting mistake
And I just want to hold you, touch you, feel you
Near you, I miss you baby baby (baby baby)
I am tired of trying to fake through
But there is nothing I can do
Boy I can't wait to hate you

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break these emotional changes
Seems like such a loss cuz I can't wait to face you
Break you down so low that there's no place left to go
I cant wait to hate you baby
I cant wait to hate you baby
--

GONE

Okay, I'm un-contactable for time begin. I lost my phone somewhere and I can't remember. And my cigarette too!! I'm like so sad now. Maybe it's fate to lose my phone. )):

Th brought me in and when in only, all the unfamiliar faces says hello to me. I pretend to know them after they saying who and whose friend. Maybe my memory is not so good then before now. All the unfamiliar faces forced me to drink and I don't even know what drink they gave me. (-__-||) Th's friends bought me a lot of drink and the last drink was Long Island Tea and it was super strong! @#$%^&*

Alright, I gotta shower and make a few calls. And check out some cheap phone. Sigh. Broke again!!

DOWN

without friends like having no mind and soul. without a friend, life feels too short and without a friend, you feel empty inside.

Hell busy Friday night and baby Tian dropped by Roomful to say hello to Jenny and I. ((: He's so sick, I wish I could look for him! Somehow I miss him. Good nights!

Living In The Shadow Of Your Heart; Pain, All Cos Of You.. Forgiveness!

It rains when the world silently suffers with an aching heart; I feel an emotion of deeply centered awe of mystery and gloom.

I wish I'm clueless about your blog. As days goes by and met happy-go-lucky guy, I hope I'm feeling a lot better than before. Although he bring back my smile but actually, I'm in pain deep inside!! Pain is just a feeling, it's when you're a little kid and scrap your knee or when you're falling off from a bike for the first time. Pain is when you and your friend gets in a fight or when your parents spanks you when you get into troubles. But the Biggest pain of them all is when you lose someone you love the most!!

Silent thoughts of you..
but I hate thinking of you.
Everything becomes hard to understand,
it makes me feel so lost,
like sinking into quicksand.

I know if my heart was open to all,
I would soon fade away.
Ashamed of my cake-mix feelings,
that I feel deep each day.

Yet I feel so keenly your presence,
and at the back of my mind,
I try to please you.
Though I know I'm out batting half blind.

Tears roll down my chin,
because I want this to be real.
Yet I'm scared they're just a whisper.
Oh, how I wish I couldn't feel!

I'm so afraid to loose my heart,
to have it broken just like before.
A wretched bitter pain,
for ever thinking there was more.

And how embarrassed I would be,
if you found out the truth,
that you hardly know me,
but I pretend to know you.
So break these dreams now,
shatter them on the floor,
and silence them forever.

Because if you tell me they are all false,
perhaps they will go away.
And I'll be able to close my eyes peacefully once again..

I've been learning to live without you now. But I miss you sometimes. I don't hate you, I don't blame you. Because I think it's about forgiveness. Forgiveness!

MR

He came to Roomful to surprise me and bought lots of food for me to eat. And it's all my favorite! :D Thanks so much and it's the thoughts that counts.

I ask Sunny to do me a favor by asking his name. Now, I finally know what's his name and what he do! I'm so happy! Sunny laughed at me for begin such a silly girl. Falling in love with someone but I've no idea what's his name.

Throughout the night, I keep smiling to every customers and myself. I just can't help it but to feel so happy and smiling away like a silly kid.

Received a rose from him outside Roomful which I keep insist him not to buy from the stupid india man. Keep forcing him to buy. But anyway, it's my first time in life, receive a rose from guy. Okay, I felt so shy and lost at that moment. I just wanna run away and hide my face. -_-||

I'm trying to open my heart to him and let natural take it course. It's gonna be sweet dreams tonight. (^__^)loves.

TWOLESS LONELY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD- AIR SUPPLY

Just simply love this song. Nice nice. (:

WEEKENDS

Saturday was a surprise night for me. My belove brother came down to my work place to look for me!! I miss him so much ever since he shifted back to Bedok. After work we had a fast and quick party. Because Jenny and I keep bottoms up our buckets of Heineken! In fact I skip my favorite drink, Guinness Draught and make it a Heineken night! Baby Xintian was already at Powerhouse. Always happy seeing her but she was kinda crazy that particular night. Lol. Went over Dragonfly with Jenny and I order another bucket. Which we only left with an hour to party. And that's how I was begin spotted by the happy-go-lucky guy. (:

Sunday out again with Jenny, my brother and his friend. Chinatown for massage, Cathay for movie, PS just for Subway and Cine for pool.



I can't stop myself from looking through your messages again and again.. Somehow I feel like seeing you again.